Letting go can show more strength than hanging on

letting go

One day a philosophy professor walked into her classroom while holding a drinking glass filled with clear liquid.

She stood silently in front of the classroom until all student chatter subsided. Then she posed a question to her class: “How heavy is this glass of water I’m holding?”

Students gave guesses ranging from eight ounces to a couple of pounds. The professor replied: “I didn’t ask how much this glass weighs. I asked, ‘How heavy is this glass of water I’m holding?’ The answer to that question is relative.”

“Relative to what?” a student asked.

“Relative to how long I hold on,” the professor responded. “If I only hold it for a few minutes, it’s pretty light. But if I hold on for the remainder of this class, it’ll become uncomfortable. My arm will start to ache.

 “And if I try to hold it all day long, my arm will eventually cramp, or maybe get paralyzed with numbness. Ultimately, this glass that feels light right now will seem so heavy–and I’d be so incapacitated with pain and fatigue–that I’d be forced to quickly put it down in some random spot, or drop it involuntarily and make a mess.”

The professor regarded the water glass thoughtfully and elaborated. “The absolute weight of the glass never changes,” she explained, “but the longer I hold on to it, the heavier it seems, right?”

Students nodded in agreement and the professor continued. “The lesson, class, is this: carrying some of life’s responsibilities can be very much be like holding this glass of water.

“For example, the responsibility associated with a new opportunity or new possession can seem light when you first pick it up.

“But in time you may start to experience discomfort—like the ache of stress—if you continue to hold on to that opportunity or possession after it no longer serves you well.

 “And, just like with the water glass, if you ignore the warning signs of discomfort and insist on clinging to the things of the past for too long, just because they made sense then, the fatigue can wear you down and make life so painful or paralyzing that you are eventually forced to let go with little or no grace, and maybe end up with a mess.”

The professor gracefully set the drinking glass on a table. It had been useful to hold as a teaching prop, but that time had passed. Now that she had let go, she was free to pick up a new item that would serve her well in the moment, a red dry erase marker.

As she stepped to the white board and began to write, she concluded by saying, “Joseph Campbell, the noted literature professor, mythology expert, writer and lecturer, stated it well when he wrote:”

We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us.


Holding on to real estate can be like holding onto that water glass: if the property no longer serves you as well today as it did in the past, the weight of responsibility grows heavier and more uncomfortable with time.

Maybe it’s time to let go of the first home you’ve ever owned and get a bigger one, if your growing family is experiencing the discomfort of trying to shoehorn into a house with too few bedrooms and bathrooms.

On the other hand, maybe your kids have grown up and moved out, and you and your spouse now have an echoing empty nest all to yourselves. Do you really need all those beds and baths and square feet to clean and heat and maintain for years to come? Or would a smaller, more energy efficient home serve you better today?

Or maybe it’s time to gracefully let go of a second home, a vacation home purchased when finances were better or leisure time was more plentiful. Maybe your primary residence is out-of-state and you are too far away or are just plain too busy to make it to the Lakes Region often enough to justify ongoing carrying costs including a mortgage, heating fuel, the nation’s third highest property taxes, and electricity rates 35.27% greater than the national average.

Or maybe it’s a beloved but older house, one that you picked up when you were younger, healthier, and had more energy and enthusiasm with which to keep up with seemingly never-ending maintenance responsibilities. But the reality is that both homes and homeowners age and deteriorate. None of us are getting any younger. Exterior paint blisters just as surely as skin wrinkles. Chimneys crumble just as surely as my knees ache when climbing stairs during a Nor’easter. In the blink of an eye, those asphalt shingles that you bought what seems like just yesterday are suddenly past their 20 year life expectancy and starting to curl. Maybe a newer home with less maintenance and single floor living makes more sense now.

Finally, sometimes people struggle to hold on to a property that was inherited. About a quarter of my business in 2018 came from the adult survivors of deceased parents who had owned Lakes Region property. It can be very tough emotionally to sell a home filled with so many fond memories, but it can also be difficult to add the weight of a responsibility your parents chose to carry to the load you already bear. In all of these cases my clients lived hundreds of miles away or more. In one case, the home required immediate attention so it wouldn’t fall into a terrible state of disrepair. In another, the property tax alone was a thousand dollars per month. So these clients demonstrated the strength to let go with grace.

I think of it like this… life is like a ladder. Each rung represents a different stage of life. You can’t reach the next rung and climb higher unless you let go of the one you’re grasping now. Sometimes letting go shows gracefully demonstrates more strength than hanging on painfully. If you’d like compassionate real estate help while reaching for the next rung in life’s ladder, give me a call.

Brent Metzger is a REALTOR® with Roche Brent Metzger | NH Realtor | Roche Realty Group, Inc.Realty Group in Meredith, NH and can be reached at (603) 229-8322 or (603) 279-7046.

Explore www.rocherealty.com to learn more about the Lakes Region and its real estate market.

Share on facebook
Share on twitter
Share on google
Share on reddit
Share on pinterest
The Opera House in Laconia NH

The Vision behind the “Opera House” Renovation: Revitalization of the Lakeport Area

There is a lot of excitement brewing in the Lakeport area! Previously shuttered for decades, …

Read More →

Roche Realty Group Sells Trustworthy Hardware Building

Laconia – Tom Drouin of Roche Realty Group represented both the Seller and the Buyer of …

Read More →
Highland Ridge

Strong Demand at Highland Ridge With 20 Home Sales.

Sales of newly constructed homes throughout the Lakes Region have been very brisk the past …

Read More →
Hikers overlooking the lake in New Hampshire, voted "Best State to Live in America" in 2020.

New Hampshire Leads the Pack Again!

New Hampshire Leads the Pack Again! A recent article on moneywise by Esther Trattner showed …

Read More →

Hot Markets Around Lake Tahoe and Lake Winnipesaukee

I was reading a recent article on CNBC by Robert Frank the other day where …

Read More →
NH River Kayaking

Rolling down the river

A month and a half ago, we had a fun kayaking trip down the Merrimac …

Read More →

Historic Landmark is a Focal Point of Windward Harbor on Lake Winnipesaukee

Visitors to Lake Winnipesaukee have long recognized the special qualities of Windward Harbor. Its deep …

Read More →
South Down Shores on Lake Winnipesaukee, NH

How Did South Down Shores and Long Bay on Lake Winnipesaukee Get Started?

When construction started in 1981, Laconia’s South Down Farm offered an ideal picturesque setting for …

Read More →
Balmoral on Lake Winnipesaukee

Four Season Living at Balmoral on Lake Winnipesaukee

There are so many water-access communities in the Lakes Region that provide great memories. Let’s …

Read More →

An Overview of Governor’s Island on Lake Winnipesaukee

Find Governor’s Island Homes for Sale The Lakes Region is known for its abundance of …

Read More →
Suissevale on Lake Winnipesaukee, NH

Suissevale: A Desirable Community on Lake Winnipesaukee in Moultonborough

When you navigate the shores of Lake Winnipesaukee, there’s 71 square miles of water and 274 …

Read More →
Gunstock Acres in Gilford, NH

Gunstock Acres in Gilford: A Popular Water Access Community

Find homes for sale in Gunstock Acres We have so many interesting communities in the …

Read More →
The docks at South Down Shores in Laconia

The Impact of Second Homes in the Lakes Region

As I drive around the Lakes Region during this period of social distancing, I’ve been …

Read More →
At the top of Piper Mountain, New Hampshire

Hiking in New Hampshire

Hiking is an excellent (and free!) way to stay in shape, and the awesome feeling …

Read More →
Wolfeboro NH

Thankful to be Living in New Hampshire During This Difficult Period

All of us in the Lakes Region have seen a tremendous impact to our lifestyles …

Read More →

How we are embracing technology to continue to serve our clients and customers during this COVID-19 outbreak

The fast-spreading Coronavirus has created an enormous impact on all of us. Draconian measures to …

Read More →
Roche Realty Group Meredith Office

Roche Realty Group Reports Sales of $130.4 Million for 2019

Frank Roche, President of Roche Realty Group, Inc with offices in Meredith and Laconia, has …

Read More →
Kevin Shaw Realtor

Kevin Shaw of Roche Realty Group, Inc. Produces $36.6 Million in Sales for 2019

Laconia, NH – Frank Roche, President of Roche Realty Group with offices in Meredith and Laconia, …

Read More →
Warming feet by a fire at home

Home and Holiday

If you think about it, many classic Christmas songs (and movies) are centered on the …

Read More →
Thanksgiving for NH

Thanksgiving for New Hampshire

We have so many reasons to be thankful to live in New Hampshire. I have …

Read More →

There are many reasons to live in New Hampshire

It is said that the three most important words in real estate are “location, location, …

Read More →

2019 Parade of Homes to be held October 12-14

Get inspired this weekend with the latest in building trends and innovations! The 2019 Parade …

Read More →
White Oak Motel and Lakefront Cottages Sold

White Oak Motel and Lakefront Cottages Sold

Holderness– The White Oak Motel and Lakefront Cottages located on White Oak Pond has recently …

Read More →

Lakes Region real estate activity for the first 8 months has been strong

Article by Frank Roche, President of Roche Realty Group.    Real Estate activity for the …

Read More →

Historic Homes: Buy with Your Head as Well as Your Heart

Historic Homes: Buy with Your Head as Well as Your Heart I’d like to recommend …

Read More →
Northeast Storage has purchased a commercial building located at 57 Reservoir Road.

Northeast Storage purchases unique Reservoir Road building in Meredith

MEREDITH — Northeast Storage has purchased a commercial building located at 57 Reservoir Road. Tom …

Read More →
111 Church Street, Laconia

Former Lakes Region mental health building listed and sold by Roche Realty Group

LACONIA — Rick Hagan of Roche Realty Group in Meredith, NH represented the seller, Lakes …

Read More →

Live where others dream of vacationing

https://youtu.be/7G5Z4QRBzzc Weirs Beach is a recreation destination with something for everyone, including beautiful lake and …

Read More →
Gilford, NH landmark former restaurant sold

Former well-known restaurant in Gilford recently sold

Gilford, NH – A local Gilford landmark built in 1975 and operated as a restaurant …

Read More →
Lakes Region NH

Tips for buying a home in the Lakes Region

New Hampshire’s Lakes Region is an amazing place to own a home, whether it’s your …

Read More →
South Down Shores, a gated community on the shore of Lake Winnipesaukee, NH

Kevin Shaw of Roche Realty Group Inc. Produces Over $20 Million in Sales For 1st Half of 2019

Laconia- Frank Roche, President of Roche Realty Group Inc with offices in Meredith and Laconia, …

Read More →

Lakes Region full throttle during Motorcycle Week

You can already feel the area rumbling with visitors and activity this week as the …

Read More →

Is home ownership right for you?

There are advantages to both buying and renting, depending on your current lifestyle and financial …

Read More →

New Hampshire Ranked #2 Best State in the USA for 2019

The good news is out! New Hampshire as a state performed exceptionally well in a …

Read More →
explore nh lakes

Winnipesaukee Waterfront Sales Activity Spring 2019

The weather is getting warmer, the “Big Lake” is thawing out and the real estate …

Read More →
searching for homes on the internet

The homebuyer’s online search is like online dating

Searching for homes online can be a lot like trying to find love through online …

Read More →

The Importance of Getting Pre-Approved for Your Home Mortgage

If you want to be an attractive buyer in a competitive housing market, you’ll definitely …

Read More →
Lake Winnipesaukee, Moultonborough, NH

Moultonborough homes sold at highest prices, fastest pace ever

It’s a historical time to sell a single-family home in Moultonborough, New Hampshire. Data suggest …

Read More →
For sale by owner sign next to a house

For Sale By Owner? The facts about risk and reward

If you’re trying the “For Sale By Owner” (also known as FSBO/fizbo) approach to selling …

Read More →

What to do if your listing expires

Expired listings are a frustrating reality in real estate. If you want to change the …

Read More →
Meredith, New Hampshire

Window of opportunity open for Meredith home sellers

If you own a single family home in Meredith and have been waiting for a …

Read More →
Gilford, NH

It’s an unrivaled time to sell your single family home in Gilford

If you own a single-family home in Gilford, it’s an unequalled time to sell. It’s …

Read More →

Why it’s a great time to sell your home in Laconia

If you own a single-family home or condominium in Laconia, it might be a great …

Read More →
Own a piece of the playground!

Recess is better when you own a piece of the playground

When I was a kid my favorite part of the school day was recess, that …

Read More →
Hourglass and home

Has your home been on the market for too long?

Once there was a man who loved traveling, but he had been around the world …

Read More →
letting go

Letting go can show more strength than hanging on

One day a philosophy professor walked into her classroom while holding a drinking glass filled …

Read More →
New home first time homebuyers

You Always Remember the First

There’s just something special, nostalgic and memorable about the first, whether it’s a first kiss, …

Read More →

Sell Your Home Like A Boss

Some home sellers act as though their job is finished the moment they engage the …

Read More →
Real Estate Closing issues

Closing Crashers

You know the scene. It’s been in dozens of movies. The bride and groom hold …

Read More →
Roche Realty Group Meredith Office

Roche Realty Group Inc. Reports Sales of $121.6 Million for 2018

Meredith NH – Frank Roche, President of Roche Realty Group, Inc. with offices in Meredith …

Read More →

Leave a Comment